afraid to die?

[jsarno]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

Add me to the list. I went through a stretch where I insisted on taking my pulse every night before I went to sleep. Strange, I know

Anyone been near dath?

Probably the closest I ever actually came to death was my senior year of high school. Last week of school, I had what started as a simple itch on my finger and a headache. That night at the dinner table I picked up my fork and I suddenly felt like I was on fire. I threw the fork and started shaking violently. My brother grabbed me and pinned me down. We went straight to the hospital where a bunch of tests were done on me. Everything came out normal.

They figured it was a one time occurrence so I was sent back home. The next morning I felt totally fine and went to take my last final ever in high school. Came back home and when I started to put my hands around the remote control to watch tv the same thing happened again. I started shaking like mad.

Over the next two weeks my temperature was averaging 105 degrees, I couldnt' hold anything, I couldn't walk without assistance, a whole layer of skin peeled off, I lost nearly all my hair, my eyes were blood red, and I dropped 45 pounds.

But no matter how many doctors I was sent to all over the mid-Atlantic not one doctor could diagnose what I had. And since they didn't know they were reluctant to give me any medicine. Plus I'm allergic to aspirin.

Finally, the day I've always feared came. My primary doctor sat me down and basically told me that unless they could figure out was happening it was very possible I wouldn't recover, and that my family and I should prepare for that possibility.

I gotta say, I was numb. I don't know if it was that I was too sick to feel fear but I was more confused than anything else. Like "Ok, now what do I do?"

Ultimately, while they still don't know what I had, I got better. Mainly because my dad decided I wasn't going down without a fight and had me put on any and every medicine hoping one would work. It was about 6 months before I fully recovered and got to 100%. Even today, nearly 15 years later I have some residual effects actually.

WOW! So what was it that fixed you? Antibiotics? No one has any clue what it was???

I can think of only 1 time I came close to death.
I used to race ATV's, and at the start of the race, I knew my helmet strap was broken, but I didn't care, it was my "lucky" helmet. On the second lap, I was hit by another rider and it knocked my helmet off, no big deal I thought. Well, I tried to pass this one rider by doing a jump in high 3rd gear (likely around 30mph) and when my ass end hit the jump it flipped me. I was in the air trying to make even it out, but I couldn't. The only thing I could think was...this is going to hurt and lean to the right so the ATV doesn't land on you. So I landed on compacted dirt (no give) on my head and chest with my legs still in the air...lucky I didn't break my back. My ATV was still flipping and the "oh shit" bar that's on the back of the ATV missed my neck by maybe 2 inches. I actually felt the fiberglass hit me, but the bar stopped the force of the ATV. Had I been 2 inches to the left, it would had landed solely on the back of my neck and killed me. When I was done sliding, I was in the middle of cactus patties. I never blacked out, and recall every second of my flipping. Funny that was the worst wreck I've ever had, and I didn't break a single bone in that incident. It knocked the wind out of me, but I regained my breathe (eventually), got up, got back on the ATV and finished the race with a flat tire and bent handle bars (actually got a standing ovation from the small crowd). There were literally cactus needles in my back that had to be tweezed out. I was always told if you don't get back up "on the horse" the "horse" wins. I wasn't going to let the ATV beat me, and I wasn't going to let fear beat me.
When I see the video I cringe at how lucky I was, and to this day, that track has a rule that if your helmet falls off, you HAVE to stop and put it back on or you are disqualified.
Not quite a "near death" experience, but inches from death experience.

[Riggo44]

Here are some funny quotes that fit this thread.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-- Woody Allen

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
-- Jack Benny


It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
-- Jimi Hendrix

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.

My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. He sold it to me on his deathbed. I wrote him a cheque for it, post dated of course.
-- Chic Murray

[TheMalcolmConnection]

That's really weird because I thought I was a strange kid for having thoughts like that.

[hooskins]

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

That's really weird because I thought I was a strange kid for having thoughts like that.

me too..

[Schneed10]

When I was 6 I remember having really scary thoughts all the time that our house would burn down in the middle of the night. Not so much a fear of death, more a fear of fire that little kids always had.

I also used to have a fear that a giant real life Mr Yuck sticker was hiding in my closet. Remember Mr Yuck? That sticker your mom put on all the household chemicals you weren't supposed to drink? I thought a 5-foot version with arms and legs was hiding in my closet, LOL.

[RobH4413]

hahahah! Mr.Yuck brings back so many memories. It was on all of our phones and I used to dial the number and just be confused.

Anyone ever dial 911 as a little one and get reamed for it?

Watch out shneed.

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by RobH4413

hahahah! Mr.Yuck brings back so many memories. It was on all of our phones and I used to dial the number and just be confused.

Anyone ever dial 911 as a little one and get reamed for it?

Watch out shneed.

Can't sleep, clown will eat me!

[GTripp0012]

But from my experience, I realized that I'm really not afraid of death at all. Certainly didn't feel fear during the ordeal, or after. I appreciate how lucky I was, but I guess since death is a natural process anyway, theres no reason to get worked up over it, even when the moment comes.

[SmootSmack]

Jsarno and GTripp those are some crazy stories. About 15 years ago an uncle of mine was hit by a car, he was in a coma for quite a while. Eventually he got out of the coma but he might as well have been a newborn. He didn't know how to talk, walk, eat, had no motor skills. It's amazing to see him fully functioning now considering how he had to totally relearn everything.

And no, they don't know what exactly cured my illness or even what it was. I remember it being pretty embarassing that here I was, 18 years old, and my parents and bro had to shave my face and brush my teeth for me and put my clothes on me because I was too weak to do it on my own. One time we went to dinner with some family friends and my buddy had a blast cutting up my food and feeding me. "Open the runway...here comes the airplane! Who's a big boy?"

[RobH4413]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

Jsarno and GTripp those are some crazy stories. About 15 years ago an uncle of mine was hit by a car, he was in a coma for quite a while. Eventually he got out of the coma but he might as well have been a newborn. He didn't know how to talk, walk, eat, had no motor skills. It's amazing to see him fully functioning now considering how he had to totally relearn everything.

And no, they don't know what exactly cured my illness or even what it was. I remember it being pretty embarassing that here I was, 18 years old, and my parents and bro had to shave my face and brush my teeth for me and put my clothes on me because I was too weak to do it on my own. One time we went to dinner with some family friends and my buddy had a blast cutting up my food and feeding me. "Open the runway...here comes the airplane! Who's a big boy?"

Wow, that's some scary stuff. I can't imagine the fear that must have been running through your head. It must have really given you such an incredible perspective. I don't know how I would react in a situation, and it must have taken a lot of mental focus to kick your way through that time.

While I've never had my own personal near death experience, a good friend of mine almost died from hitting me during a lacrosse practice. I was running across the crease taking a shot when my friend Kevin simply laid my ass out. Totally demolished me....and then he just started getting really sick.

It was so bizarre because after the hit, he just started walking like he was drunk and started vomiting. They rushed him to the hospital, and me and all of my buddies sort of joked around about what had happened. Then they came in and said that he had a 50% chance to live and we all just sort of stood there in shock.

He eventually fully recovered....but man.. that stuff really makes you think about how anything can happen. He actually came back and switched positions to goalie and became a phenom. He plays for Navy right now, but I believe they moved him back to defense. Crazy shit.

What's really bizarre is being near someone that is actually dying. It's actually somewhat of a psychedelic experience.

Here I am, sitting in a room with a living breathing person whom was terminally ill. I sat there and counted the breaths getting further and further apart. It was really quite surreal, and not a negative experience at all. All the pain and suffering this person was going through... It was finally ending. It's pretty amazing, and definitely helps in a weird way to get you through the mourning experience. It's something that will stay with me forever.

Damn, we're getting deep over here in the OT forum...

[NM Redskin]

What about looking at this from a physics point of view. I could be wrong here, but isnt it a rule of physics that energy can neither be created or destoryed. So if our brain is full of electrical impluses, when we die that energy must go somewhere right? Like an after life or reincarnation.

[RobH4413]

Originally Posted by NM Redskin

What about looking at this from a physics point of view. I could be wrong here, but isnt it a rule of physics that energy can neither be created or destoryed. So if our brain is full of electrical impluses, when we die that energy must go somewhere right? Like an after life or reincarnation.

Yes, then you get to the conundrum of where did this initial energy come from?

If it can't be created or destroyed, why is it here? Was it not created?

You have to either make a leap of faith, and believe that there always had and always will be, or just deny your very existence.

I think reason isn't on our side with this one. My basic assumption is that reason is a tool we have, that complicates our perception of existence. Reason is flawed; according to reason, effect has a cause. You were born because of your parents, your parents because of theirs, and so on.

If you break down enough causes, you get to the big bang, and your stuck again. What's the "first cause". Why was there a big bang.

There is a flaw in reason, because it doesn't work by it's own definition. You either believe something, or don't... but it's hard to argue that it's ever based on reason.

[GhettoDogAllStars]

I guess I have been close to my own death, but I don't really consider the experiences significant. I have been in a few serious car accidents, and I got Spinal Meningitis when I was younger.

Spinal Meningitis can be fatal, depending on the form of the illness. They do tests, and for a few days you don't know if you have the incurable type, or the other. For about a week I was paralyzed from the neck down. I couldn't eat or drink anything, and I remember having to be carried to the bathroom. It must have been a terrible experience for my family. I wasn't scared, but I was young, and I don't think anyone ever explained the gravity of the situation to me.

The one time I have been truly scared of death was when my 1-year old niece fell into the pool and drowned. I was awoken by my brother who told me to get up quickly. In a daze, I stumbled outside to find my sister holding her daughter lifeless in her arms, while crying and screaming hysterically. She was blue, wet, and very cold -- it was Christmas eve. I performed CPR on her, and she started to breathe again. It was the most irregular and unnatural breathing I have ever heard. Moments later, the ambulance arrived, and scooped her up and took her to the hospital. She recovered, and to this day there are no affects, but I will never forget that day. It was, by far, the scariest day of my life.

[RobH4413]

Originally Posted by GhettoDogAllStars

I guess I have been close to my own death, but I don't really consider the experiences significant. I have been in a few serious car accidents, and I got Spinal Meningitis when I was younger.

Spinal Meningitis can be fatal, depending on the form of the illness. They do tests, and for a few days you don't know if you have the incurable type, or the other. For about a week I was paralyzed from the neck down. I couldn't eat or drink anything, and I remember having to be carried to the bathroom. It must have been a terrible experience for my family. I wasn't scared, but I was young, and I don't think anyone ever explained the gravity of the situation to me.

The one time I have been truly scared of death was when my 1-year old niece fell into the pool and drowned. I was awoken by my brother who told me to get up quickly. In a daze, I stumbled outside to find my sister holding her daughter lifeless in her arms, while crying and screaming hysterically. She was blue, wet, and very cold -- it was Christmas eve. I performed CPR on her, and she started to breathe again. It was the most irregular and unnatural breathing I have ever heard. Moments later, the ambulance arrived, and scooped her up and took her to the hospital. She recovered, and to this day there are no affects, but I will never forget that day. It was, by far, the scariest day of my life.

That's an amazing story, I'm glad she's okay. I'm really sorry you had to go through that, but I think it's an incredibly story you two will be able to share. I'm sure you guys have a special connection as it is, and this further emboldened your relationship.

A similar story happened with my three year old cousin, (I wasn't there) but I remember being roused by my hysterical sister saying John had drowned. Unfortunately he wasn't as lucky as your niece, and to this day it's been hard to find any kind of answers from that incident. Of all the trauma I've ever been through (and it's been a substantial amount) that has hit me the hardest.

It's so cliche, but I continually doubted that a God would let something like this happen. It just didn't make sense... but neither does life.

That incident kind of re-defined my life. It was the point in time that I realized that everyone, no matter the case, will be affected by tragedy at some point in time. There will not be a happily ever after story... and our personal ability to roll with those punches help define the kind of people we become, and help those looking up to us understand this same concept.

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by GhettoDogAllStars

I guess I have been close to my own death, but I don't really consider the experiences significant. I have been in a few serious car accidents, and I got Spinal Meningitis when I was younger.

Spinal Meningitis can be fatal, depending on the form of the illness. They do tests, and for a few days you don't know if you have the incurable type, or the other. For about a week I was paralyzed from the neck down. I couldn't eat or drink anything, and I remember having to be carried to the bathroom. It must have been a terrible experience for my family. I wasn't scared, but I was young, and I don't think anyone ever explained the gravity of the situation to me.

The one time I have been truly scared of death was when my 1-year old niece fell into the pool and drowned. I was awoken by my brother who told me to get up quickly. In a daze, I stumbled outside to find my sister holding her daughter lifeless in her arms, while crying and screaming hysterically. She was blue, wet, and very cold -- it was Christmas eve. I performed CPR on her, and she started to breathe again. It was the most irregular and unnatural breathing I have ever heard. Moments later, the ambulance arrived, and scooped her up and took her to the hospital. She recovered, and to this day there are no affects, but I will never forget that day. It was, by far, the scariest day of my life.

Wow, saving someone's life is truly awesome, but saving a child's life is flat out heroic. As she grows up, watch the person she becomes, because were it not for you, none of it would be possible.

Honestly, you're the man, Ghetto. Well done.