On Marriage

[Slingin Sammy 33]

Originally Posted by GMScud

....not how big and fancy the ring is. I see the latter too often.

Agreed. I spent most of my life in the DC area, Mont. County, Centreville, etc. Moved down here in '98 and met my wife.

[BDBohnzie]

Originally Posted by saden1

More than 3K for an engagement ring? Isn't the 2 month salary rule for a wedding ring? And is that before or after taxes?

Nope, as stated the 2 month rule is for engagement rings...find yourself a small independent jeweler or a wholesale place that does custom work. And ask around about different places. My neighbor at my old house recommended a wholesale place that did custom work, and I was able to get exactly what I wanted and since it was a wholesaler, I got a decent price on the diamonds. It's an investment in terms of money and happiness. Your money and her happiness...be picky and get exactly what you want for the price you are willing to pay for it.

It was more important for me for the ring to look a certain way than how much was spent on it. I did have a lot of help cost wise, as I used the solitare from my wife's Mom's engagement ring (she had recently passed away when I started designing the ring) and had some sidestones from my great grandmother's ring that I had embedded in the ring itself. So while I was able to keep the cost down (the band itself plus 2 side stones), the ring looks very nice and not overstated.

As far as wedding bands go, I wanted to keep things simple, and my wife agreed with me for now. Got both our bands for less than $350 at eweddingbands.com, and they've been great. If you do a lot with your hands, I highly recommend 10 karat. I beat the crap out of mine and while it has some minor scatches and nicks, I can't imagine what it would look like if I went softer. Down the road she'll want hers replaced, and quite frankly, I don't mind doing it for the amount of shit I put her through

[MTK]

I can recommend Diamonds, Engagement Rings and Fine Jewelry at Blue Nile

[skinsfan69]

Originally Posted by Angry

1. Denny's, I had the waitress put the ring in her dessert. Not the most romantic place and she damn near choked on the ring.

2. At the time I thought that I was in love with her and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Now I am still with her and I imagine being with someone else all of the time.

3. Role playing definitely helps, but I found that the biggest thing that makes the relationship stronger is when you F up real bad and it jeopardizes the whole marriage. As soon as you realize that you can lose her for good it snaps you back to reality. The love of a good woman is irreplaceable. It makes you remember the way you felt when you first fell in love, though I would not recommend taking this course of action.

3. I married an older woman, so she had to do more adjusting to my immature habbits than I had to adjust to her. Over time you just start getting wiser about how you spend your money and time. On top of that you realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and you start to make better decisions based on the two of you. Picking your battles can be thrown in there somewhere.

4. Honestly, children make a marriage tougher, but if it were not for my children our marriage might not have lasted. If your girl was wild before kids expect that behavior to come to a screeching halt. Guys tend to still be guys when they first have children. Most women become instant nurturers overnight. It usually takes us guys a while to catch up.

I know that I really haven’t told you anything, but in reality you cannot teach experience. At the same time everyone’s experience is different.

I wish you well and hope I have helped, even if the information provided was minimal.

lol. it's called being a man.

[skinsfan69]

Originally Posted by GhettoDogAllStars

Divorce rates are higher for couples who live together before marriage.

Lots of data on this can be found on the Internet... do a google search for "divorce and cohabitation" -- the theory on why it happens is basically a lack of commitment.

I think the divorce rate is high because marriage is tough and people just grow tired of one another. It's business relationship and being in business with another person is tough. I'm in my late 30's and I just don't want to do it. I like my freedom too much.

[mredskins]

My ring is tungsten and you can't wreck it, impossible and it is lite weight!

[saden1]

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

I can recommend Diamonds, Engagement Rings and Fine Jewelry at Blue Nile

They're pretty good Seattle based company...my boy was telling me on Friday they're looking for software developers. Have you or yours ever bought any jewelry from them?

[MTK]

Originally Posted by saden1

They're pretty good Seattle based company...my boy was telling me on Friday they're looking for software developers. Have you or yours ever bought any jewelry from them?

Yes several times, great quality, nothing but good things to say about them.

[mredskins]

I always going to use Blue Nile but instead went to DE and it end up being cheaper once you figured sales tax but Blue Nile is legit.

[BleedBurgundy]

Originally Posted by Slingin Sammy 33

Don't put yourself into massive debt over the ring, but as some of the other guys have mentioned .75 to 1 karat, with good color, clarity will set you back about 4-6K if you work with the independent jewelers. I'm sure you've got a good woman or you wouldn't be ready to pull the trigger. Whether outwardly (yes, run for the hills) or subtly, most women do compare rings. It's not usually the overt Chevy Chase type of comparisons, it's when all her friends see it for the first time and talk about it, or when she's out somewhere and another woman comments on how pretty the ring is. I'm sure she'll be very happy with whatever you give her.

This is pretty much how I mentioned it. It's not that she will run around comparing, but when the office talk turns to it, you don't want her to be embarrassed.

[BleedBurgundy]

Originally Posted by saden1

They're pretty good Seattle based company...my boy was telling me on Friday they're looking for software developers. Have you or yours ever bought any jewelry from them?

This is where I got the ring for my wife from. It's nice because you can pick out the individual stone and actually customize the setting. I was a little nervous not physically seeing it, but they came highly recommended by a friend of mine.

[MTK]

Originally Posted by BleedBurgundy

This is where I got the ring for my wife from. It's nice because you can pick out the individual stone and actually customize the setting. I was a little nervous not physically seeing it, but they came highly recommended by a friend of mine.

I went the same route. After shopping around the mall stores I was really turned off by their prices and lack of quality. I don't recall how I found Blue Nile but I'm so glad I did. The stone I got for my wife was very high quality. I referred my Dad to them when he got re-married and they were very happy with BN too.

[BringBackJoeT]

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

1. First tip is to make sure that when you DO find someone that might be the one, you make DAMN sure. I've seen too many of my friends get married within 2-3 months of meeting someone.

2. I knew my wife the moment I saw her. That's corny as hell but true. I was 15, and it's insane to say, but I knew it. We're working on twelve years together and two years of marriage.

3. To keep the spark going, NEVER take yourselves too seriously. The second you start feeling like you're older, that's when the spark will start to go away. Sure, people grow and people change a little bit, but what you fell in love with is always going to be there. My wife and I had random beers last Wednesday night and danced outside on our back porch for about an hour. Not slow dancing, just ridiculous, hilarious dancing. Which also reminds me, make a date to get some at LEAST once a week.

4. The main adjustments I had to make was to realize that I am no longer a bachelor (not like I ever was, but I DID live alone). Remember to share everything equally whether it's money or chores.

5. Take it from someone who's 27 and has NO plans for kids in the current future... DON'T DO IT UNTIL YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY READY. We have a lot of couple friends and all of them are getting knocked up because it's "what you're supposed to do at that age." At least half of them admit to me privately they wish they hadn't had them. For the people who have kids, I'm sure they love them unconditionally, but until you're ready for that burden, make damn sure you're ready to contribute a LARGE part of your free time and money to deal with feedings, changing diapers, and spending at least one or two hours just to get them ready for a simple outing. Fun times. Your marriage will never be the same for better or worse when you have children.

Agreed, most definitely. My wife and I are both older than you, and we just decided to put it off a little more because of a vacation we want to go on. We're having a lot of fun together, period.

[70Chip]

Originally Posted by saden1

So you don't think a two state solution is feasible?

It takes two to tango. The simple, obvious thing about the Arab-Israeli conflict that too many people fail to see is that the Palestinians are the ones who don't want a two-state answer. They're playing the long term 50 or 100 year game. Once you see that they are the ones who don't want a settlement, the whole thing becomes very predictable and understandable. It all makes sense.

As for marriage, if you dally and wait past 25 all the good girls are taken. You're only chance is widows and hardly anyone dies anymore.

[djnemo65]

Originally Posted by 70Chip

It takes two to tango. The simple, obvious thing about the Arab-Israeli conflict that too many people fail to see is that the Palestinians are the ones who don't want a two-state answer. They're playing the long term 50 or 100 year game. Once you see that they are the ones who don't want a settlement, the whole thing becomes very predictable and understandable. It all makes sense.

As for marriage, if you dally and wait past 25 all the good girls are taken. You're only chance is widows and hardly anyone dies anymore.

Dude, you know it's not the 1950's anymore right?