F...People that take the middle urinal

[MonkFan4Life]

Well the urinals all depend on how many folks are in there already but when I Take A Gangsta it's the middle stall all day long. And there cannot be anyone in the bathroom when I originaly go in there. I really want to be alone at that time. I just dropped a serious one about 5 mins ago. Spagetti from dinner, and two Baked Chicken Breast smothered in Carmelized Onions, Doritos, and Root Beer smells like raw sewage coming out. I think the cleaning guys thought so too. The said something in Spanish but one guys tarted out with Good Lord ! I really thought the poor sap who just wanted to change his clothes in peace didn't deserve to walk into my office while I was laying a couple of employees off because I don't do Curteousy Flushes often. It's all about intimidation for me. I don't want anyone next to me dropping a deuce because they are always loud like they are at home. I F'n hate that. All loud, straining loud, I mean really letting everyone know that you are putting in some serious work today. I really don't care how tough this is for you and I don't need to know. It's bad enough that I'm in here sitting on the toilet suffering, I don't need yours messing up my mantra.

Anyway, just wanted to rant. By the way, is it bad to smell your own farts ? I don't think so. It's a good way to determine if you'll need to hit the can soon or not. Kinda like the way they predice Earthquakes or Volcanic Eruptions. You know when it's almost time.

[MTK]

lol dude you've gotta give a courtesy flush

I can't count how many times I've walked into the men's room and immediately turned around and walked out due to the death stench. There's no way I'm gonna stand in that stink to take a leak. I'll either hold it or find another bathroom.

[MonkFan4Life]

Well that's the thing. IF they are not scared off then I'll give the courtesy flush but to start off. NO. I can't smell it so I don't really know how much it stinks until someone comes in and I hear the soles of their feet against the floor as the twist to walk right back out the door. From time to time you'll hear a comment which like lighting your own BBQ makes you feel like a man when we were Cro Magnon. It's like a dog pissing on a hydrant, this is MY territory.

Isn't it the absolute worst when the toilet seat covers fall into the water while you're preparing to sit down. I mean of all the things !

[firstdown]

If your dingo won't so small you wouldn't worry about what urinal everyone was using.

[gibbsisgod]

Ok, Ive got one. You are in the stall, Doing the ole #2. And not just any #2, The kind you have after eating Cici's buffalo chicken pizza the night before. Someone walks in, Do you try to hold in the fireworks for a moment? In my workplace our locker room is in the same room divided by a short hallway. I try to quite down the festivities so I don't make the other person either laugh or make a rude comment. When they do, I cant help but get the giggles like a little school girl.

Of course, if its real bad, you know, 7th circle of hell bad, and you just want something to put the fire out, I don't care if I sound like a marching band in there. If its just a noisy session without the flames, well, I try to be respectful.

[gibbsisgod]

Not urinal related but...

We have 2 shower stalls in our locker room. Myself and 1 other person kind of have our designated showers. we are actually the only ones who use them. Mine has a curtain and mat that I purchased,the other guy uses what the company provides. Our shifts end about an hour apart so we have somewhat of a buffer there. Anyway, I am in there one evening, just getting out of the shower when my boss walks in and wants to have a conversation. HELLLOOOO. I am butt naked and you have to talk to me now? Serious foul IMO.

[firstdown]

NOW THIS IS FUNNY

I worked for this a$$ and we had a ware house area then his office area and bathrooms. Well above the office and bathroom area was storage. Well one day while I was up there I noticed the bathroom vent hose that went from the floor to the ceiling and then a few minutes latter I notice an AC vent in my bosses office that was never hooked up. So I got a ladder and disconected the hose from the ceiling and hooked it up to the AC vent over my bosses desk. So now everytime some would go the bathroom and cut on the vent it ran right into his office. Our boss would come running out of his office and say stuff like you guys are rank or someone need to go to the doctor. It was best when he had someone in his office so they would think it was him stinking up the office. This went on for a month and when I quit I told him what I did as I was driving off.

[MonkFan4Life]

OMG firstdown that is HILARIOUS !!!!! You shouldn't have told him. Just let it ride.

gibbsisgood I have an answer to your dilema. I have that problem myself usually if I have a lot of vegetables, oatmeal, Chipotle, pizza, or anything that usually is a catalyst for Taking A Gangsta, a violent gansta if you will. Squidder as my cousins used to call this particular type of deuce. You flush as the wave is hitting you. Therefore hiding the sound but if you time it wrong then the echo can be quite embarrasing. We have the industrial suck your ass in type pressure here so it's so loud that it hides the sound and the cool water relieves the steaming hot pain that you are dealing with because of this kind of Poo.

[BDBohnzie]

@MonkFan4Life - thanks for turning it up a notch. I've got tears...

[MTK]

Originally Posted by MonkFan4Life

Well that's the thing. IF they are not scared off then I'll give the courtesy flush but to start off. NO. I can't smell it so I don't really know how much it stinks until someone comes in and I hear the soles of their feet against the floor as the twist to walk right back out the door. From time to time you'll hear a comment which like lighting your own BBQ makes you feel like a man when we were Cro Magnon. It's like a dog pissing on a hydrant, this is MY territory.

Isn't it the absolute worst when the toilet seat covers fall into the water while you're preparing to sit down. I mean of all the things !

You can't smell it? C'mon, when you're droppin a nasty one you KNOW when it stinks to high hell. All shit stinks, it's just a matter of how bad.

[MTK]

Originally Posted by firstdown

NOW THIS IS FUNNY

I worked for this a$$ and we had a ware house area then his office area and bathrooms. Well above the office and bathroom area was storage. Well one day while I was up there I noticed the bathroom vent hose that went from the floor to the ceiling and then a few minutes latter I notice an AC vent in my bosses office that was never hooked up. So I got a ladder and disconected the hose from the ceiling and hooked it up to the AC vent over my bosses desk. So now everytime some would go the bathroom and cut on the vent it ran right into his office. Our boss would come running out of his office and say stuff like you guys are rank or someone need to go to the doctor. It was best when he had someone in his office so they would think it was him stinking up the office. This went on for a month and when I quit I told him what I did as I was driving off.

That's pretty damn funny

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by MonkFan4Life

OMG firstdown that is HILARIOUS !!!!! You shouldn't have told him. Just let it ride.

gibbsisgood I have an answer to your dilema. I have that problem myself usually if I have a lot of vegetables, oatmeal, Chipotle, pizza, or anything that usually is a catalyst for Taking A Gangsta, a violent gansta if you will. Squidder as my cousins used to call this particular type of deuce. You flush as the wave is hitting you. Therefore hiding the sound but if you time it wrong then the echo can be quite embarrasing. We have the industrial suck your ass in type pressure here so it's so loud that it hides the sound and the cool water relieves the steaming hot pain that you are dealing with because of this kind of Poo.

The only reason I told him is because I wanted him to know who pulled that prank on him and they were closing that office in a week anyways.

[FRPLG]

Ok this thread has become required reading.

[Monksdown]

Originally Posted by MonkFan4Life

Well that's the thing. IF they are not scared off then I'll give the courtesy flush but to start off. NO. I can't smell it so I don't really know how much it stinks until someone comes in and I hear the soles of their feet against the floor as the twist to walk right back out the door. From time to time you'll hear a comment which like lighting your own BBQ makes you feel like a man when we were Cro Magnon. It's like a dog pissing on a hydrant, this is MY territory.

Isn't it the absolute worst when the toilet seat covers fall into the water while you're preparing to sit down. I mean of all the things !

Toilet seat covers? For real? I always wondered why they put those in the men's rooms. You must be the reason.

[Monksdown]

Originally Posted by TheMalcolmConnection

OK, so I work at a university and the students just started back. I don't know what it is about this place that has the students look OVER the stalls to see if someone is using that particular stall. That's now happened to me at least a dozen times since I've been here.

It's those W&L kids man. Their noses are so high in the air, they couldn't imagine lowering their chins.