On Marriage

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by djnemo65

Dude, you know it's not the 1950's anymore right?

I know that was the dumbest comment ever, seriously there are great women at any age.

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by mredskins

I know that was the dumbest comment ever, seriously there are great women at any age.

Depends on your operating definition of "great"!

I might ruffle feathers here, and if so sorry, this is my opinionated side coming out. I'd automatically rule out any of the following as a potential mate:

- Any woman who's been divorced. If it wasn't successful in round one, the odds of it being unsuccessful in round 2 are a ton higher than with someone who's never been divorced.

- Any woman who's been abused. Way too much emotional baggage.

- Any single mother. Their decision-making when choosing a potential mate will be clouded by the natural desire to have someone to share the workload and responsibility of raising children.

Not to mention younger women are generally more attractive. I tend to agree that age makes a big difference (though 25 might be unrealistic). Simply because the field gets narrowed down to those with baggage after a certain point.

To be fair, same thing goes for men to an extent. So ladies out there please understand, I'm not being sexist, I'm just an asshole.

[Schneed10]

There's a statistic you hear a lot; approximately 50% of American marriages end in divorce.

Keep in mind this does not mean 50% of people who get married end up divorced. This means 50% of the unions entered into end up in divorce. There are plenty of "frequent fliers" when it comes to divorce. Many who get divorced once get remarried and then divorce again, and again. My buddy's father (who's pretty much the most self centered man ever) has gotten married and divorced 6 times. He's now engaged to a 7th.

The repeat divorcees carry a disproportionate share of the divorces in this country. So while 50% of marriages end up in divorce, more than 50% of the people who get married never get divorced.

All this is to say, if you get hitched to someone who has gotten divorced before, the odds of you getting divorced are much higher than for that young engaged couple who have never been married before.

[MTK]

I might ruffle feathers here, and if so sorry, this is my opinionated side coming out. I'd automatically rule out any of the following as a potential mate:

- Any woman who's been divorced. If it wasn't successful in round one, the odds of it being unsuccessful in round 2 are a ton higher than with someone who's never been divorced.

What if you were also divorced?

- Any woman who's been abused. Way too much emotional baggage.

Agreed.

- Any single mother. Their decision-making when choosing a potential mate will be clouded by the natural desire to have someone to share the workload and responsibility of raising children.

I think that's generalizing just a bit.

Not to mention younger women are generally more attractive. I tend to agree that age makes a big difference (though 25 might be unrealistic). Simply because the field gets narrowed down to those with baggage after a certain point.

I dunno, have you seen some of the cougars out there? LOL

To be fair, same thing goes for men to an extent. So ladies out there please understand, I'm not being sexist, I'm just an asshole.

We know,

[JoeRedskin]

[deleted as self-absorbed idiocy]

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

What if you were also divorced?

If you're both on equal footing, both having been divorced, then that shouldn't stop you. Heck even if you've never been married but the lady has been divorced, that shouldn't stop you either. Corny as it sounds, love is still worth taking the chance for. But you're better off picking someone who's never been divorced, if you can.

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

I think that's generalizing just a bit.

For sure. You gotta get to know the girl real well and then you can make a better educated guess. But every person should go into marriage under the assumption that they don't know everything about the person, and should go in with eyes open and ready to learn more. A single mom could be a great mate. But just like a baseball manager plays the percentages, thinking the lefty hitter vs righty pitcher gives him a better chance, you gotta think a single mom is a little more likely to be into me for business reasons than a woman without kids is.

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

I dunno, have you seen some of the cougars out there? LOL

True that. And hey, women tend to hit their sexual peak in their 30s. Plus they know what they're doing by that point!

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

We know,

But you love me, right. Right? Guys?

[JoeRedskin]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

But you love me, right. Right? Guys?

Only when ur being an asshole I agree with.

[mredskins]

I would say love is something that can not be measured or anylaized. There is no formula for love.

I would like to add a female with children generally is pretty guard as to who they bring into their lives. This has been my experience, though I have never dated anyone with a kid when I was single, nor would it have deterioed me if I had meet the right person.

[BringBackJoeT]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

Depends on your operating definition of "great"!

I might ruffle feathers here, and if so sorry, this is my opinionated side coming out. I'd automatically rule out any of the following as a potential mate:

- Any woman who's been divorced. If it wasn't successful in round one, the odds of it being unsuccessful in round 2 are a ton higher than with someone who's never been divorced.

- Any woman who's been abused. Way too much emotional baggage.
- Any single mother. Their decision-making when choosing a potential mate will be clouded by the natural desire to have someone to share the workload and responsibility of raising children.

Not to mention younger women are generally more attractive. I tend to agree that age makes a big difference (though 25 might be unrealistic). Simply because the field gets narrowed down to those with baggage after a certain point.

To be fair, same thing goes for men to an extent. So ladies out there please understand, I'm not being sexist, I'm just an asshole.

Should we put scarlet letters on abused woman to make sure no man gets hoodwinked into marrying one of these defective products?

How unfortunate that there are people who actually agree with you.

[saden1]

The man said he has his asshole hat on, what more do you want?

Abused women have trust issues and are likely to cut you in the event that you f'up...they're not for all men.

[BringBackJoeT]

Originally Posted by saden1

The man said he has his asshole hat on, what more do you want?
Abused women have trust issues and are likely to cut you in the event that you f'up...they're not for all men.

Meaning what? So long as you say that you have your "asshole hat on," you're insulated from a response?

[saden1]

Originally Posted by BringBackJoeT

Meaning what? So long as you say that you have your "asshole hat on," you're insulated from a response?

If you're S10, yes. I don't make the rules, I just know of them.

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

Depends on your operating definition of "great"!

I might ruffle feathers here, and if so sorry, this is my opinionated side coming out. I'd automatically rule out any of the following as a potential mate:

- Any woman who's been divorced. If it wasn't successful in round one, the odds of it being unsuccessful in round 2 are a ton higher than with someone who's never been divorced.

- Any woman who's been abused. Way too much emotional baggage.

- Any single mother. Their decision-making when choosing a potential mate will be clouded by the natural desire to have someone to share the workload and responsibility of raising children.

Not to mention younger women are generally more attractive. I tend to agree that age makes a big difference (though 25 might be unrealistic). Simply because the field gets narrowed down to those with baggage after a certain point.

To be fair, same thing goes for men to an extent. So ladies out there please understand, I'm not being sexist, I'm just an asshole.

I disagree with what I highlighted to a point. I was divorced once and said I would get married one more time but only to the right women. I was single for 10 years before I found the right women because I knew after my first try I knew what I wnated and what I did not want in my next wife. So my divorce actually helped me the second time around. One thing I did know is that I would not get involved with a women who had a child but I was raising my daughter as I ruled out mothers. I guess that a double standard but I was actually honest and told girls I dated this and I guess they understood.

[Slingin Sammy 33]

Originally Posted by firstdown

I disagree with what I highlighted to a point. I was divorced once and said I would get married one more time but only to the right women.

I said the same thing and then checked the bigamy laws in Virginia and ruled that out

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by BringBackJoeT

Meaning what? So long as you say that you have your "asshole hat on," you're insulated from a response?

It's totally cool to call me on it. Mine is a cold-hearted view, but nevertheless one that I feel is accurate.

Firstdown makes some good points, that there are exceptions. And Matty said it too, I am definitely generalizing.

But ultimately generalizations are categorizations of relative odds. I'm more likely to get mugged in an impoverished neighborhood than an upscale one. I'm more likely to strike out Ryan Howard if I bring in a lefty. I'm more likely to have a successful marriage if I get hitched to someone who's never experienced a failed marriage before.

Doesn't mean I can't get Howard out if I stick with the righty, though. But, don't the fans have a right to boo me if I leave the righty in and he goes yard?