understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

TheMalcolmConnection · 08-12-2010, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

That's probably the biggest thing. Those rare times that Senora Smack is less than interested I used to get all frustrated with her. Like my pride was on the line "I put a ring on your finger and now you don't want this?!" But I've since learned to be more "understanding" "Take all the time you need honey, I'm not going anywhere" I've started to learn all her non-verbal behavior too. 'Cause often times she'd be like tonight it's you and me! And I'd be all like that's what's up! Only to find out it was all talk by the time the evening rolled around.

But one thing I've learned, when guys are upset and frustrated usually the best release is to hit something or to hit something (if you know what I mean). For women, it's unfortunately not always the same.

Anyhow Snake, as has been said here you need to talk to her but not in a Mel Gibson-"you better blow!!!!! me" kind of way

DUDE. I'm not hijacking this at all, but that makes me want to flip my shit. I don't mind not getting a piece, but don't get my hopes up.

Monkeydad · 08-12-2010, 04:33 PM

Do they vibra....nevermind.

The Goat · 08-12-2010, 04:37 PM

Lotta great posts/advice already in this thread. I reckon I can add a bit of insight SS84 (I've been married to my special lady friend throughout our 20s).

- While their bodies are typically at the peak during their 20s a LOT of women just don't have a ton of libido during that time. A cruel effing irony thrown at us by nature or God! My lady honestly had weeks of no sex-drive off and on even separating out the birth control situation. The physical aspect of any relationship has a natural ebb and tide life of its own. I can honestly say that the really fantastic sex (in our marriage) didn't happen till about the 4th yr...and, taking highs and lows into account, it just continues to get better over time.

- The increased "focus" on sex, especially from you but within the relationship as a whole, doesn't help in the short run. While I don't quite get it lots of women have serious performance anxiety and especially if they don't have much libido to start with. This means you need to find a tactful way to ratchet down the sex issue while simultaneously extracting the info (what's going on w/ her). So...communication is the key. Think about what kind of setting puts her at ease most and try a different approach to the issue than you have before.

- Don't let yourself start believing other women, especially if there's a particular friend/coworker/etc you fancy, will not have many if not all the same propensities your wife has. For one thing you're likely to get involved with another woman roughly the same age and, believe it or not, more similar than dissimilar to your wife. Relationships are most always hot and heavy in the beginning, and then the patterns of normal life emerge.

*I assume this will be a process. Keep us posted

SolidSnake84 · 08-12-2010, 04:39 PM

Yeah guys i'll let everybody know how it goes...i'm getting off work in 20 mins so i will go home and try and feel her out so to speak. I may be able to post results tonight, but more than likely it will be in the morning...so check back!

firstdown · 08-12-2010, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

Yeah guys i'll let everybody know how it goes...i'm getting off work in 20 mins so i will go home and try and feel her out so to speak. I may be able to post results tonight, but more than likely it will be in the morning...so check back!

Maybe thats the problem. You need to be feeling her up not feeling her out.

firstdown · 08-12-2010, 05:03 PM

Maybe she has discovered that she is bi and she is trying to figure out how to ask you if her hot ass girl friend can join you two in the bed room.

saden1 · 08-12-2010, 05:33 PM

What happened to the days of hitting a woman over the head with a club and dragging her back to the cave? I guess we've made progress since 10K B.C.

SmootSmack · 08-12-2010, 06:00 PM

I think I've figured it out Snake...she got a job at Walmart but doesn't know how to break it to you yet

724Skinsfan · 08-12-2010, 07:12 PM

6 years + 3 kids. Sex and marriage in the same sentence just seems odd to me.

tryfuhl · 08-13-2010, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 724Skinsfan

6 years + 3 kids. Sex and marriage in the same sentence just seems odd to me.

you did the quantity > quality thing it seems haha

DynamiteRave · 08-12-2010, 11:10 PM

As a 23 year old female.. There is no such thing as a dry spell. If I'm not getting it at least a couple times a week, I start getting irritated.

... I guess I'm an nympho...

jamf · 08-13-2010, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DynamiteRave

As a 23 year old female.. There is no such thing as a dry spell. If I'm not getting it at least a couple times a week, I start getting irritated.

... I guess I'm an nympho...

Uh I was going to send you a private message but your inbox is full.

D, Do you mind if I call you D?
My name is Rocky.
I like long walks on the beach, banana cream pie, raves and zesty attorneys.
My favorite Redskin is Ricky Sanders.
I'm disease free( for the last 3 months straight!!!!) and love puppies.
Email me if you have time: smootsmackhas3testicles@gmail.com

tryfuhl · 08-13-2010, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamf

Uh I was going to send you a private message but your inbox is full.

D, Do you mind if I call you D?
My name is Rocky.
I like long walks on the beach, banana cream pie, raves and zesty attorneys.
My favorite Redskin is Ricky Sanders.
I'm disease free( for the last 3 months straight!!!!) and love puppies.
Email me if you have time: smootsmackhas3testicles@gmail.com

LOL! especially bold

SmootSmack · 08-13-2010, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamf

uh i was going to send you a private message but your inbox is full.

D, do you mind if i call you d?
My name is rocky.
I like long walks on the beach, banana cream pie, raves and zesty attorneys.
My favorite redskin is ricky sanders.
I'm disease free( for the last 3 months straight!!!!) and love puppies.
Email me if you have time: smootsmackhas3testicles@gmail.com

lol!!!

Monkeydad · 08-13-2010, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DynamiteRave

As a 23 year old female.. There is no such thing as a dry spell. If I'm not getting it at least a couple times a week, I start getting irritated.

... I guess I'm an nympho...

As a male, you're an exception to the rule and you won't always be that way.

Trust me.

08-12-2010, 04:33 PM	#2
Monkeydad Living Legend Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: PA Age: 47 Posts: 17,460	Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go?? Do they vibra....nevermind. __________________ Not sent from a Droid, iPhone, Blackberry or toaster

08-12-2010, 04:37 PM	#3
The Goat Pro Bowl Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 5,662	Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go?? Lotta great posts/advice already in this thread. I reckon I can add a bit of insight SS84 (I've been married to my special lady friend throughout our 20s). - While their bodies are typically at the peak during their 20s a LOT of women just don't have a ton of libido during that time. A cruel effing irony thrown at us by nature or God! My lady honestly had weeks of no sex-drive off and on even separating out the birth control situation. The physical aspect of any relationship has a natural ebb and tide life of its own. I can honestly say that the really fantastic sex (in our marriage) didn't happen till about the 4th yr...and, taking highs and lows into account, it just continues to get better over time. - The increased "focus" on sex, especially from you but within the relationship as a whole, doesn't help in the short run. While I don't quite get it lots of women have serious performance anxiety and especially if they don't have much libido to start with. This means you need to find a tactful way to ratchet down the sex issue while simultaneously extracting the info (what's going on w/ her). So...communication is the key. Think about what kind of setting puts her at ease most and try a different approach to the issue than you have before. - Don't let yourself start believing other women, especially if there's a particular friend/coworker/etc you fancy, will not have many if not all the same propensities your wife has. For one thing you're likely to get involved with another woman roughly the same age and, believe it or not, more similar than dissimilar to your wife. Relationships are most always hot and heavy in the beginning, and then the patterns of normal life emerge. *I assume this will be a process. Keep us posted __________________ 24-34

08-12-2010, 04:39 PM	#4
SolidSnake84 Playmaker Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Stephens City, VA Posts: 2,953	Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go?? Yeah guys i'll let everybody know how it goes...i'm getting off work in 20 mins so i will go home and try and feel her out so to speak. I may be able to post results tonight, but more than likely it will be in the morning...so check back! __________________ Time to nut up or shut up

08-12-2010, 05:03 PM	#6
firstdown Living Legend Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: chesapeake, va Age: 62 Posts: 15,817	Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go?? Maybe she has discovered that she is bi and she is trying to figure out how to ask you if her hot ass girl friend can join you two in the bed room.

08-12-2010, 05:33 PM	#7
saden1 MVP Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Seattle Age: 47 Posts: 10,069	Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go?? What happened to the days of hitting a woman over the head with a club and dragging her back to the cave? I guess we've made progress since 10K B.C. __________________ "The Redskins have always suffered from chronic organizational deformities under Snyder." -Jenkins

08-12-2010, 06:00 PM	#8
SmootSmack Uncle Phil Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 45,256	Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go?? I think I've figured it out Snake...she got a job at Walmart but doesn't know how to break it to you yet __________________ You're So Vain...You Probably Think This Sig Is About You

08-12-2010, 07:12 PM	#9
724Skinsfan Playmaker Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Roanoke, VA Posts: 3,508	Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go?? 6 years + 3 kids. Sex and marriage in the same sentence just seems odd to me. __________________ "I hope I'm getting better. I hope you haven't seen my best." - Jim Zorn

08-12-2010, 11:10 PM	#11
DynamiteRave Living Legend Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Washington DC Age: 39 Posts: 16,867	Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go?? As a 23 year old female.. There is no such thing as a dry spell. If I'm not getting it at least a couple times a week, I start getting irritated. ... I guess I'm an nympho... __________________ Establishment, establishment, you always know what's best. I've been a part of this message board for 17 years. Damn I'm old.

understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

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