Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

Just coming from a woman, the "Your period is over, it's time to have sex" approach is NOT going to work. Granted she's your wife and the waters are a bit different than from someone you're just dating, it just screams, -I'm desperate for sex- which is, let me say, a turn off. I'm not saying you aren't planning to wine her and dine her in an act of seduction but that coming randomly, especially right after the end of her monthly is more than just obvious. I'm going to suggest you keep trying to talk to her about it, instead of waving your junk at her in a plea that it does something for her.

You need to keep letting her know you care for her and that you're deeply concerned about your relationship with her even in the midst of this sex drought. Love and concern should always come before the sex. My SO right now has told me before that if for some reason they had to abstain from sex to be with me, they would. Because they love me that much and although the sex is important, it's not the make or break of our relationship.

I know, I know, sex is an important part of a relationship but a month shouldn't be making you lose your damn mind. You'd think she had the antidote coming out from between her legs and you're going to die if you don't get it.

But you know what I'm saying? At this point, could you say the same thing about your wife? That you can see her through this, no sex thing? No matter how long? If she's not cheating on you, that is... But if you can't say yes or even maybe then you really need to look inside and do some self-searching.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

Hopefully all went well for SS84 tonight.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

Never heard of 3 years and out before with the sex, especially a young couple. I have heard about the 7 year wall that is usually when the big D comes. What happened in Fla is what you should be asking yourself and her. I admit I am still a bachelor at 40, but most of my buds got married right out of undergrad and never have said complained about bedroom problems even now. All, but one are still married. They are pretty honest with their wives and from what I see and vice versa. You just need to come out with it and ask her what's wrong. 32 days isn't that bad if you both work a lot, etc.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

Is it just me or does anyone else hear this song in their head whenever they read this thread?
[YT]GqH21LEmfbQ[/YT]

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

Try sending her some roses to her work with a card some candies or ballons. But in your card. put it all on the line how she is so cold emotionally and physically and how you are so torn apart that she hasnt responed to any of your past moves. Just dont come off like an a-hole. I'm sure their will be some gals acting like AWWW!! I wish someone would send me something like that.

Stay strong and you just follow your heart. Stay or go just look at all the signs they are their for a reason. Good Luck Bro.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

This is Snake.

Without a deep explanation, everything went as planned last night. She came to me when work was over, and things went from there. Afterwards, we talked for about 35 mins. Basically, conflicting work schedules, the fact that sometimes i can be a jerk, and a few other things explained the drought. Many nights the desire was there but she was just too tired to get anything going.

It appears to be over. She told me first thing this morning before i left for work that she would be waiting for me, in a sly kind of way. She deeply deeply apologized for what had happened. Because of our communication problem, i dont think she realized how paranoid i had grown over the past month.

There was nothing that happened in Florida bad. It was just when she got home, it was back to the late shifts and thats where the problem happened. I have promised to be more vocal about things to hope that this doesn't happen again.

Last night could have just been a 1 shot thing, so i'll be paying attention closely.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

:woot::woot::woot::towel::towel::headbange:goodjob:

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GwjfUFyY6M&feature=search]YouTube - Kool & The Gang - Celebration[/url]


WELL HOT DAMN !!!!!

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

Yeah i feel like a new man. I wanna apologize to my friends on here that I lashed out at during the worst parts of the drought. Officially it lasted 37 days. Thanks guys again.

LOL at the Kool and the Gang song. It just fits so perfectly haha

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=SolidSnake84;721859]This is Snake.

Without a deep explanation, everything went as planned last night. She came to me when work was over, and things went from there. Afterwards, we talked for about 35 mins. Basically, conflicting work schedules, the fact that sometimes i can be a jerk, and a few other things explained the drought. Many nights the desire was there but she was just too tired to get anything going.

It appears to be over. She told me first thing this morning before i left for work that she would be waiting for me, in a sly kind of way. She deeply deeply apologized for what had happened. Because of our communication problem, i dont think she realized how paranoid i had grown over the past month.

There was nothing that happened in Florida bad. It was just when she got home, it was back to the late shifts and thats where the problem happened. I have promised to be more vocal about things to hope that this doesn't happen again.

Last night could have just been a 1 shot thing, so i'll be paying attention closely.[/quote]

So you guys took 2 min having sex and 35 min. talking about it. Seems about right.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=SolidSnake84;721859]This is Snake.

Without a deep explanation, everything went as planned last night. She came to me when work was over, and things went from there. Afterwards, we talked for about 35 mins. Basically, conflicting work schedules, the fact that sometimes i can be a jerk, and a few other things explained the drought. Many nights the desire was there but she was just too tired to get anything going.

It appears to be over. She told me first thing this morning before i left for work that she would be waiting for me, in a sly kind of way. She deeply deeply apologized for what had happened. Because of our communication problem, i dont think she realized how paranoid i had grown over the past month.

There was nothing that happened in Florida bad. It was just when she got home, it was back to the late shifts and thats where the problem happened. I have promised to be more vocal about things to hope that this doesn't happen again.

Last night could have just been a 1 shot thing, so i'll be paying attention closely.[/quote]

Awesome. At least you both got it out in the open and know it's both people have work to do.

You got some. I'm so happy for you...

[IMG]http://threadbombing.com/data/media/2/1115466316c7b31948e61111279339c0.gif[/IMG]

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

The Warpath, saving more marriages than Dr. Phil.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

SS, I'm happy for you man....


But is anyone else kind of sad that this thread will be over?

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

Who says it's over...maybe now we can track another drought from day 1.


Hopefully not, but women are unpredictable. :D

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=Gmanc711;721916]SS, I'm happy for you man....


[B]But is anyone else kind of sad that this thread will be over[/B]?[/quote]

Not at all.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=Gmanc711;721916]SS, I'm happy for you man....[/quote]

Thanks....but neither of us were in the mood last night

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=SmootSmack;721925]Thanks....but neither of us were in the mood last night[/quote]

The next thread...

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

yeah solid!

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

I guess we can say it only took one nut to end this thread.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

Pretty sure this is how it all ended !


[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3XH13WlncU&feature=related]YouTube - scary movie[/url]

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

So what should I do with this hottie I was going to introduce to Solid? j/k

Good for you man.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=12thMan;721977]So what should I do with this hottie I was going to introduce to Solid? j/k

Good for you man.[/quote]

With a name like 12thMan, I'd guess nothing.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=Buster;721988]With a name like 12thMan, I'd guess nothing.[/quote]

Hater alert!

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=MonkFan4Life;721949]Pretty sure this is how it all ended !


[URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3XH13WlncU&feature=related"]YouTube - scary movie[/URL][/quote]

It started like this:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUNTRw1bJwQ&NR=1]YouTube - Some People Cant Take A Joke ¬¬[/ame]

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=12thMan;721996]Hater alert![/quote]

If by "hater", you mean "homophobe", then yes.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=Gmanc711;721916]SS, I'm happy for you man....

[B]
But is anyone else kind of sad that this thread will be over?[/B][/quote]

I bumped the jsarno thread for a reason, you know? :D

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=Buster;722021]If by "hater", you mean "homophobe", then yes.[/quote]

Dude! LOL....man, I don't what to say about you Buster.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=SolidSnake84;719429]She says she is either too tired or just doesnt feel like it. If i prod and push her too much about it, she gets angry. Like badly angry.

Last night i actually slept on our couch it was so bad.[/quote]

Dude I'm 23 married, and a 1 yr old boy. Trust me I know what your saying. Most guys at my job warned me that when u get married the sex stops haha. I guess it's kinda true. I try and not bring it up anymore because I'm tired of asking and hearing her Bitch about it when I do ask lol. I'm faithful to my wife and have a little patience so I'm hanging tough.. Porn only last so long lol. Good luck man hang in there.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=MonkFan4Life;721476]Solid don't get so upset bro. You have to find a way to laugh through the pain.

I have been where you are. Many of us have. My sexual relationship with my wife is on a good ground now but perfect ? NO. I've been married for 4 years this September the 9th and I've been with my wife for 10 years now. The first 1 and a half she was my **** buddy. When I wanted it, I got it. How I wanted it, I got it. No matter the time, the place, whatever. After we became serious it started to slow down then when we moved in together I swear it would be about once a month. Once a month for about a year which then became about once every two months. Then once every 3 months. This went on for a loooong time. Even after getting married sex or lack there of was a major issue for me. Especially when I do all the cooking, most of the cleaning, and not to toot my horn I'm a damn good husband. I treat that broad right. Did I bitch about the sex thing ? ALL THE TIME.

Our sex was so infrequent I KNEW that day that she got pregnant. That's how bad it was. I went through 7 plus years of when she felt like it sex. Almost ended our relationship. But what I found to be most effective was when I stopped asking. We had many arguments about it, but what a lot of us have been saying is to take it slow. If she has been giving you excuse after excuse it's probably because she doesn't have an answer to give you. That was the worst thing for me.

To tell me "I don't know why I don't want to have sex with you" was complete and utter bullshit to me. After talking to my sister who works at an OB, she told me that women come into her office all the time about stuff like that. So while I may put up a link to a clip from Johnny Dangerously or Fast Times those are jokes but still I don't know all the answers. I can just tell you what worked for me. And what you're doing and how you are feeling now didn't. You are angry, confused, and frustrated. You only way to deal with it is in absolutes. But you have to think like a woman, she wants a reason to argue so she can point to that to say "this is why" but you can't give her that. Which is why I eventually took my friends advice and not asking for it.

Was it fun ? No, was it easy, hell no. Did it work ? Id like to say that it did. Sometimes I have to do it still. But now I can take solice in the fact that on Friday after we've picked our son up from daycare she's gonna look at me and say, "well it's the weekend". And even though I know what she means I always say, "yeah I know, we get to rest, get some cleaning done,...what do you have planned ?" Then she'll say, "well you know, we can do some things" 3 days out of the week I have the chance to get some tail. That is her compromise. Do I ask for it during the week ? Occasionally, will I get it ? Meh, it's hit or miss.

But be patient man. Just be with her, and it will all work itself out. Should you have to go through all of this ? No, but the fact is that you kinda have to. Unless you want to be lying next to her in the bed yet you all are so far apart.

Hit a J, drink some Remy, and play some Call of Duty. I prestiged and killed about 3,559,052 zombies off the no sex time. Many a frustraion was let out in Rust !

Keep your head up, just be patient. Be an all world husband but give it some time before you try to crank.[/quote]


AGREE!!! 100% with everything you said

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=DynamiteRave;719650]As a 23 year old female.. There is no such thing as a dry spell. If I'm not getting it at least a couple times a week, I start getting irritated.

... I guess I'm an nympho...[/quote]

God Bless America!!!

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

D-Rave probably also represents the 2% of women that aren't like everything described in this thread.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

My bitch of a wife must fall into that 2%. Either that or what they say about cougars is true (She turns 40 in Feb). I have the opposite problem of you right now. My wife has tried to intice me almost every night for the past month. I am a guy so she ususlly gets her way. Last night I was too damn tired though. The funny thing is that I was the one asking for it for the first 10 years of marriage.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

Albert Haynesworth has a headache, has he been taking advice from Solid Snakes wife?

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=12thMan;722164]Dude! LOL....man, I don't what to say about you Buster.[/quote]

Just assure me I won't be the 13thMan and we'll be fine.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=Buster;722259]Just assure me I won't be the 13thMan and we'll be fine.[/quote]

12th man is a very common football term. You in fact are the 12th man if you ever happen to make it to Fed Ex to watch a game.

Why don't you try looking it up.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

Gee, I never knew that.


Seattle's 12thMan is the most annoying.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

Behold. I have found the solution to all sex problems....Video Games.
[YT]f2ocGIQL55s[/YT]

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=Angry;722200]My bitch of a wife must fall into that 2%. Either that or what they say about cougars is true (She turns 40 in Feb). I have the opposite problem of you right now. My wife has tried to intice me almost every night for the past month. I am a guy so she ususlly gets her way. Last night I was too damn tired though. The funny thing is that I was the one asking for it for the first 10 years of marriage.[/quote]

Almost 40 means she's hitting her sexual peak. No wonder she wants it so bad.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=DynamiteRave;723344]Almost 40 means she's hitting her sexual peak. No wonder she wants it so bad.[/quote]

Well that means I have 19 years left to wait on my girlfriend to hit her "peak." Just have to settle for thrice a week. Angry you lucky SOB.

Re: understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??
 

[quote=Buster;722295]Gee, I never knew that.


Seattle's 12thMan is the most annoying.[/quote]

HA !!! I got the joke. Must have thought that was a football related joke. I'd rather be the first man as long as there's a chick that we're all in line for.