F....Cigarettes

[over the mountain]

Originally Posted by mredskins

Let me be clear here and I am not defending them but they have never smoked "around" my son indoors or out. It is the second hand smoke on their hands and clothes that makes him sick.

My MIL smokes a pack a day and I have never seen her actually smoke, it is always in some secret place, she is very ashamed of her habit.

My wife is in my corner and we are going to confront them this week.

Im a smoker, i do it outside the house as well. When you come back in the house you need to wash your hands but, like you said, theres still that lingering factor of smoke on the hands and clothes.

my only caution to you (you know the whole story, its your family, i dont so take it for what it is) but it seems that your in-laws have tried and made efforts to not only not put your son (and their grandson) in direct second hand smoke but also make sure that the lil guy doesnt see them do it.

my caution is, i wouldnt approach them antagonistically or even have the appearance of that. it seems the MIL is embarrassed of the situation, she is aware of it but depending on how you present this issue to which she is sensitive to, she might take it the wrong way, see it as an attack etc. i know when my lady starts complaining about my dogs I take it personal, as an attack sometimes.

i would start off by recognizing and commending her (and the rest) for their efforts to shield the child from their dirty habit. then tell them the most recent situation and come up with a plan that everyone involved can contribute to discussion wise.

i would focus the discussion on what everyoone wants - the best health for your child. i would try to stay away from making the MIL feel worse than she already does about her habit. it seems like she is doing everything she can think of, im guessin she doesnt know that the lingering smell and elements of smoke on her clothes still effects the child.

just be thoughtful and understanding in your approach. you all want the same thing.

i recommend an outdoor smoking cloak thing that she could wear when shes outside smoking then leave that cloak thing outside?