F....Cigarettes

[mredskins]

Here is the email I sent my MIL this morning, my wife is also going to speak with her in person but I felt I need to say my two cents:

Please don’t be mad at me in regards to this message…

Do you know that when XXXX came home on Monday his eyes were very red and he could not stop sneezing? I think the second hand smoke is starting to get to him. I realize you never smoke around him but the second hand smoke on your clothes and hands is harming him.

I really wish you guys would consider stopping if for anything XXXX’s health, it could literally kill him. Also, you guys are a huge part of his life and in my opinion his true go to grandparents and we need all of you around for a long long time! I am also scared that XXXXX who loves UNCLE and looks up to him may someday think smoking is cool.

Please I just ask that you guys consider quitting, it would make a huge impact in all of your lives. I KNOW that you guys never smoke around him and actually come to think of it I don’t think I have ever physical seen you smoke. I realize it is a huge undertaking but think of the impact it will have on our lives if you guys stop.

Please don’t take this as a I am holier then I type email, I know I have plenty of vices of my own to work out myself. I just felt like this was something I had to say.

Love,

XXXX

How Does Secondhand Smoke Affect Someone Else's Health? | eHow.com


Straight from the article:

Second hand smoke affects the body in several ways. It can irritate the eyes causing them to become red, itchy and watery. The lining of the nasal passages can be irritated causing sneezing and runny nose. Secondhand smoke can cause the throat to become dry and irritated. Most non-smokers tend to cough when exposed to secondhand smoke. Although most people may not realize it, secondhand smoke even affects the taste buds diminishing the full flavor of food.

[over the mountain]

Originally Posted by mredskins

Let me be clear here and I am not defending them but they have never smoked "around" my son indoors or out. It is the second hand smoke on their hands and clothes that makes him sick.

My MIL smokes a pack a day and I have never seen her actually smoke, it is always in some secret place, she is very ashamed of her habit.

My wife is in my corner and we are going to confront them this week.

Im a smoker, i do it outside the house as well. When you come back in the house you need to wash your hands but, like you said, theres still that lingering factor of smoke on the hands and clothes.

my only caution to you (you know the whole story, its your family, i dont so take it for what it is) but it seems that your in-laws have tried and made efforts to not only not put your son (and their grandson) in direct second hand smoke but also make sure that the lil guy doesnt see them do it.

my caution is, i wouldnt approach them antagonistically or even have the appearance of that. it seems the MIL is embarrassed of the situation, she is aware of it but depending on how you present this issue to which she is sensitive to, she might take it the wrong way, see it as an attack etc. i know when my lady starts complaining about my dogs I take it personal, as an attack sometimes.

i would start off by recognizing and commending her (and the rest) for their efforts to shield the child from their dirty habit. then tell them the most recent situation and come up with a plan that everyone involved can contribute to discussion wise.

i would focus the discussion on what everyoone wants - the best health for your child. i would try to stay away from making the MIL feel worse than she already does about her habit. it seems like she is doing everything she can think of, im guessin she doesnt know that the lingering smell and elements of smoke on her clothes still effects the child.

just be thoughtful and understanding in your approach. you all want the same thing.

i recommend an outdoor smoking cloak thing that she could wear when shes outside smoking then leave that cloak thing outside?

[Monkeydad]

^ Why sugarcoat everything? They know smoking is bad for your health and their bad habit is directly affecting a child's well-being.

He needs to be direct and clear, not "oh you're a responsible smoker and it would be nice if you'd..."

Smokers are irresponsible simply by being smokers. If they won't clean up for a kid's health, things need to change...like they can come visit him at his own smoke-free house. If they're like the majority of smokers, they'll take any suggestions as personal attacks on their "freedom".

If he is allergic, there is no ground to compromise on...they either have to help him out or stay away.

[MTK]

Cigarette Smoking: 46 Million American Junkies Still Puffing, Says CDC - Health Blog - CBS News

F smokers indeed.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by Buster

^ Why sugarcoat everything? They know smoking is bad for your health and their bad habit is directly affecting a child's well-being.

He needs to be direct and clear, not "oh you're a responsible smoker and it would be nice if you'd..."

Smokers are irresponsible simply by being smokers. If they won't clean up for a kid's health, things need to change...like they can come visit him at his own smoke-free house. If they're like the majority of smokers, they'll take any suggestions as personal attacks on their "freedom".

If he is allergic, there is no ground to compromise on...they either have to help him out or stay away.

One of the few times I can whole heartily say I agree with you.

It be one thing if the smoke only hurt the smoker but smokers are literally killing the rest of us as well and it is completely unfair to children who have no choice in the matter.

When I see a car load of kids with a smoker I seriously want to scream.

[over the mountain]

Originally Posted by Buster

^ Why sugarcoat everything? They know smoking is bad for your health and their bad habit is directly affecting a child's well-being.

He needs to be direct and clear, not "oh you're a responsible smoker and it would be nice if you'd..."

Smokers are irresponsible simply by being smokers. If they won't clean up for a kid's health, things need to change...like they can come visit him at his own smoke-free house. If they're like the majority of smokers, they'll take any suggestions as personal attacks on their "freedom".

If he is allergic, there is no ground to compromise on...they either have to help him out or stay away.

i fully understand. but there are ways of approaching situations. this isnt my situation but if it was my number one goal would be to do whats best for my child. but achieving this goal is possible without alienating or embarrassing or attacking the grandmother who obviously loves her grandson very much.

of course she loves her grandson more than smoking so basic logic for a non-smoker dictates that she should just quit smoking. i'd like to think this dynamic and situation mredskins and his wife is in is more delicate and sensitive. your talking about a grandmother. about a grandmothers feelings and acts which hurt her grandson. what grandmother wants to be placed in a position in which her daughter and SOL and talking to her about her actions which negatively effect her grandsons's health?

to me, that situation can be resolved while keeping the grandmothers feelings and sense of nurturing intact.

all im offerring is a recommendation to mredskins (who seems like a real cool thoughtful person) to be mindful of his approach as his MIL may be sensitive to this issue. obviously something needs to be done, but do it with compassion and understanding. were not talking about mredskins brother or even uncle, were talking grandmother here.

im guessin all she wants is to be there for her grandson in every capacity she can. to let her know that despite her efforts otherwise she has been hurting her grandson must be a very powerful emotional blow to one's self of grandmotherhood.

[over the mountain]

Originally Posted by mredskins

One of the few times I can whole heartily say I agree with you.

It be one thing if the smoke only hurt the smoker but smokers are literally killing the rest of us as well and it is completely unfair to children who have no choice in the matter.

When I see a car load of kids with a smoker I seriously want to scream.

so do i and i digress.

good luck m.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by over the mountain

so do i and i digress.

good luck m.

did you read the email I wrote to her? it is at the top of this page. I think it was very fair and both me and my wfie will follow up with a actually conversation. Since it is her mom she may go it alone but Ifelt Iwant my voice to be heard. My wife has begged my MIL to stop even when she was a child so I was hoping maybe if someone outside of their immediate family said hey this is actually hurting your grandson it might be the thing to put her and the rest of them over the edge to quit.

If I was going to be a hard ass about it, it would go something like this:

Stop F--king smoking near my son becasue if he gets cancer and dies I will hang it over your head until you die of cancer! Also, until you stop don't think you will ever see him.

I would never say that.

[firstdown]

I'd like to see evidence that second hand smoke on clothing and hands could have those affects on another person. Not saying it wouldn't just never heard of second hand smoke as you describe. When I smoked I found 2 and 3 year olds where great at fetching my smokes and getting me a cold beer when I was too lazy/drunk to get up. My girlfriend Dixie thought it was cute.


:cool-smil:vomit:

[MTK]

Is it that crazy to think that smoke covered clothes and skin could cause health problems? Really?

[Hog1]

Originally Posted by Mattyk

Is it that crazy to think that smoke covered clothes and skin could cause health problems? Really?

It may not be crazy to think about it but is it true? I have never heard of that either, but it could be true
BTW.........I don't smoke

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by Mattyk

Is it that crazy to think that smoke covered clothes and skin could cause health problems? Really?

No its not crazy but I have never herd of 2nd stinky hand and Clothing health issues.

[saden1]

When you walk into a bathroom and someone took a really stinky dump earlier and you smell said stink what you're doing is taking in that persons shit into your nose and subsequently your lungs.

Don't forget to breath, it's just a small particles of shit.

[MTK]

http://www.thecmafoundation.org/rxch...s/ETSfacts.pdf

[Hog1]

Originally Posted by saden1

When you walk into a bathroom and someone took a really stinky dump earlier and you smell said stink what you're doing is taking in that persons shit into your nose and subsequently your lungs.

Don't forget to breath, it's just a small particles of shit.

home field advantage.........only