Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)

[724Skinsfan]

Not my best work, but I got caught up in "poop" humor...

I recently purchased the [very non-]football video game "Madden [Hot Dog Eating Champ 2K7]." I had to beg my [super best friend and new roommate Lance Bass] to left me buy it because I've been spend a ton of money on ["Exit Only" signs] lately. After [watching John Madden eat 86 gravy covered hot dogs gravy in] the game all night I can say, it was certainly worth all that [Pepto Bismal].

There is an option in the game that actually lets you become a real [Oscar Meyer hot dog]! But first you have to go through [John Madden's colon], which is extremely [...interesting]. The game is so real you almost believe that you can feel the [gaseous, semi liquid contents of his digestive tract] running down your neck. After going through the [hellish-nightmare that are his bowels] training period you are ready to start [competing against John Madden] for real.

Again, the game is so [easy to digest when dipped in water] that you can actually get [little chunks of half-eaten hot dogs] in your stomach. But don't let your [poop chute] get too [compacted] because one slip and you could [explosively shit] all over the field. By the end of the first [round of ten dozen hot dogs] everything should slow down for you and your [irritable bowel] should start to ease. The the time your first bye-week comes around you'll feel like an old [bloody ass Exlax addict].

With any [chance of recovering from angioplasty] you'll make the playoffs for a shot at the [artery clogging] prize, the [Chocaolate Covered Peanutty Bratwurst] Trophy! First you have to [eat 50 hot dogs without puking during the] the opening round of the [Regional No Limit Tournament]. After you [literally eat] your first opponent it's on to the conference championship. This is where [the rules] really [tick me] off, because you don't want to be [traveling with an explosive diarrhea condition] on the road! If you're [quick] enough to make it to the [Toilet] Bowl you should be [stocking enough toilet paper] to win! The [plunger] will be [dificult to reach] so keep your [toilet seat] on a swivel out there. Keep to your [fold] and [wipe technique] just like you did during the season. Really, you just need to [wash your ass] with the [nearest hand towel] that you did when you were a kid.

Hopefully you won the [Name That Tune farting] game and now you can go to [the closest window], at least in the video game world you can, unless you have [more violent attacks of diarrhea] to spend.

The [really enjoyable] thing is, after that first season ends you can keep [crapping] all you want. It seems like all I do is [crap] "Madden" anymore, maybe that's why my girlfriend [took a dump on] me last week.[/quote]