Adult Mad Libs (NC-17, sorry kids)

[TheMalcolmConnection]

Dorm Life

Sarah had just closed her gash after knocking boots because she had a(n) pulsating sore in the morning. Suddenly she was woken up by a loud splash from across the hall.
"What the fucking shit was that?" she yelled as she ran for the door.
From the hallway she could see into her neighbor's skull, which was filled with gummy bears drinking vodka. There was broken glass all over the floor because someone had brandished a sex toy and it shattered into 2 pieces. Everyone was just fellatating and carrying on.
Sarah said to the infested group, "would you all shut up?!? I have a rich trick in the morning and I really need to wash my gash. If you all don't back flip right now I'll screw the lephrechaun and he'll fuck you all up for eating his Lucky Charms!"
With that, everyone just shitted at Sarah and went back to scrubbing. One collar-flipping guy came up to Sarah and headbutted her tits and said, "Hey, shut up and snort a line. We're just having a(n) delicious time, you should gang-bang us."
Since she didn't want to be a dirty whore all her life, Sarah decided to stab the guy. In the morning she was too incarcerated to take her birth control and she ended up ho-ing out of prison. Now she works as a folk singer dancing for retards.
Remember kids, pee in the potty so you can get a chocolate-chip cookie.


There, now stop yelling 724.