F...People that take the middle urinal

[JoeRedskin]

Again, Matty, there has never been and probably never will be a 1 year old with an "immaculate sh**".

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by MonkFan4Life

LOL !!!!!!! I've done that to my son as well ! I can't put him his crib cause the little guy can almost climb out of his crib. So he's got to take the L and sit in there with me. I have to look at his shit so he can sit in there with me.

It's funny when my son tales a shit though because he'll be running top speed and then he'll stop and stand still for a couple of seconds with this blank look on his face. We know he's done when he starts moving around again.

Other then sleeping that is the only time he stops running, is when he poops. So funny!

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by joeredskin

one thing about small children, its amazing how much your tolerance for excrement increases. Seriously, kids crap where ever, when ever and require you to deal with it and sometimes to do the same.

Some simple rules:
- if stank bothers you to the point you must alter your habits, have no children;
- if concern that others will notice the smell of sh** that is in some way attributable to you, have no children;
- if discussing sh** while in a public toilet bothers you, have no children;
- if crapping in front of others bothers you, have no children;
- if not having enough paper products to clean up after an explosive crap bothers you, have no children;
- if sh** in places other than places designated for said sh** bothers you, have no children.

All of these things, and more, will happen to you with small children. Kinda goes back to my "sh** happens" rant.

Amen!

[MonkFan4Life]

Originally Posted by mredskins

Other then sleeping that is the only time he stops running, is when he poops. So funny!

Pretty much because I don't know when he pisses. When he gets tired the little fuker just turns it up a notch. I swear, the boy will rub his eyes and hop up running top speed just to stagger from side to side til he falls. But let him have to take a gangsta and he's still. The funniest is when he sqauts. All he needs is s newspaper and he'll be set.

And Joe you were SPOT ON ! I might have to add

-if you don't want to have to clean shit out of your fingernails.
-if you dont want to see shit come out of an ass
-if you don't want to HAVE to touch shit to take your childs clothes off only to reveal more shit which the child will touch and then touch their face and while you are trying to clean their hands it gets in their hair and your hands.

Have children because then you get to laugh when its all over !!!!

[Monkeydad]

OK, on the way back from Long Island this weekend, I was in a NJ rest stop bathroom (Molly Pitcher) and I was at a urinal near the far end of the row of urinals. There were at least 10 empty ones to my left. Some guy walked past ALL of them and used the one next to me. I thought of this thread.

What's even worse, was in NJ who is known for bathroom encounters amongst men. Blech.

Added bonus, there was a Spanish-speaking guy in a stall behind me giggling like a little girl for the whole time I was in the bathroom. I think he may have been on a phone, but I wasn't sure and he didn't speak English.

Lesson: NJ bathrooms are disturbing.

[Monkeydad]

Originally Posted by MonkFan4Life

I use the paper guard when I'm at a public restroom and I do make them with toilet paper unless I'm in a Code Brown situation. Then and only then do I just hope I don't walk away with crabs.

The only time I use these are in NJ. (on the way TO NY this weekend).


AIDS is a scary thought.

[Monkeydad]

Originally Posted by MonkFan4Life

LOL !!!!!!! I've done that to my son as well ! I can't put him his crib cause the little guy can almost climb out of his crib. So he's got to take the L and sit in there with me. I have to look at his shit so he can sit in there with me.

It's funny when my son tales a shit though because he'll be running top speed and then he'll stop and stand still for a couple of seconds with this blank look on his face. We know he's done when he starts moving around again.

I'm rolling in laughter picturing that. My son does it too, but he usually grunts too. We can hear him dumping.