Competition Committee proposals: end play when ball carrier's helmet comes off & sudden death overtime

[Trample the Elderly]

I'm against people getting hit in the head, unless they're in the NFL.

I'm against people dying in automobile accidents unless it's in NASCAR.

I'm against people giving their bodies over to drugs and alcohol, unless they're musicians.

C'mon? Are you going to tell me that Charlie Daniels is good without booze, or that Lennon was better off without smack?

There's always somebody trying to be a mommy.