Haynesworth is Behaving Selfishly

[CRedskinsRule]

Originally Posted by 53Fan

I completely missed that. Link?

I can't find a link of the rumored peace treaty, but here is the start of the 12 year war:

EMERALD CITY 19-OCT-1998 (SBN) - (Emerald City, Oz) After years of border skirmishes and Munchkin persecution, war finally erupted between the Republic of Oz and neighboring Loompa-Land.

In a brilliantly coordinated attack, armored Oompa-Loompa cavalry riding atop domesticated Vernicious Knids attacked Oz border outposts, overwhelming distracted Munchkin Storm Troopers who were celebrating the Ruby Red Slipper Festival. At precisely the same time, 4 squadrons of Kamikaze hot air balloons clashed with Ozzie Flying MilitiaMonkeys in the sunny skies above Emerald City. But without The Wicked Witch Of The West to lead them, the MilitiaMonkeys were slaughtered like opposable thumbed gnats, leaving the Capital City of Oz defenseless.

The Triumvirate Government of Oz escaped the seige, and were immediately granted asylum at Universal Studios, Hollywood. Said Ozzie spokesman, The Scarecrow, "This vicious attack on Munchkin Nationals was unprovoked and unreasonable. No one with a brain can condone such aggression." The Tin Man and The Lion could not be reached for comment. Hopes for a last minute intervention by Glenda, The Good Witch Of The North, were dashed when it was learned that she had been detained by US Custom's Officials after vacationing in Salem, Massachusetts.

Oompa-Loompas, with their population and territory diminished by predation from carnivorous Hornswagglers, were recently denied by Oz the raw materials needed to manufacture Fizzy Lifting Soda Pop, a pacifying soft drink concoction they developed an addiction to while enslaved by an evil Swiss chocolate magnate in the 1970's. Withdrawals from the mysterious brew have seemingly transformed the amiable Oompa-Loompas into a paranoid race of tempestuous sociopaths.

Loompa-Land, whose primary export is Snozberries, is a DisneyWorld enclave embraced between the borders of Oz, Israel, the Palestine West Bank, and the Dutchy Of Fenwick. It has been a country in confusion since the devaluation of the Wangdoodle and the subsequent purchase of their entire nation by the Disney Corporation in 1989. In 1990, Loompa-Land religious leaders declared Donald Eisner, Disney CEO, the Anti-Christ.

After news of the invasion reached Wall Street, NASDAQ Averages plummeted, with Disney stock curiously showing a 6 point gain by the closing bell. Some critics are claiming that the hostilities are merely a publicity stunt, staged to garner interest in a prospective movie sequel or two.

But the United States issued a strong condemnation of the assault. Said US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright to a Harliquin Romance frenzied mob assembled outside of Presidential Impeachment Hearings, "It really wasn't very neighborly. Those people should all grow up."

CNN will be covering the invasion live from Emerald City, beginning at 9am EST tomorrow.