More facts about Sean Taylor (Chuck Norris ripoffs)

[BrudLee]

Sean Taylor once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just, the Islands.

Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Sean Taylor got an award for masturbating in public.

Sean Taylor does not leave messages. Sean Taylor leaves warnings.

If Sean Taylor is late, time better slow the hell down.

Sean Taylor died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Sean Taylor shaves with a John Deere tractor.

Similar to a Russian nesting doll, if you were to break Sean Taylor open you would find another Sean Taylor inside, only smaller and angrier.

Sean Taylor frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to stop, drop, and be Sean Taylor.

As a poor college student, Sean Taylor went to the local sperm bank to make some quick cash. He retired later that day.

Sean Taylor recently saw the movie "Brokeback Mountain" and roundhouse kicked everyone in the theatre to death. The movie wasn't the part that pissed him off, it was the fact that they didn't sell babies at the snack bar.

Sean Taylor once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.

Sean Taylor takes no prisoners, but he does take their wives.

Sean Taylor never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the hell off.

The only person ever to beat Sean Taylor in a arm wrestling match was God. Although we all know Sean let him win.

Sean Taylor once roundhouse kicked a midget and it burst into 25 gold coins.

Sean Taylor can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the hell Sean Taylor is.

If you can think of a swear word, chances are Sean Taylor invented it while in bed with your mother.