Medical Advice / Suggestions Needed

[SolidSnake84]

Hello friends,

My friendly warpathers were the first people I thought of before attempting to find / branch out to other message boards, groups, etc.. I am seeking some information on what may or may not be wrong with me, before going to the doctor, so I can be as educated as possible.

To make a long story short, I have been dealing with what I feel is crippling anxiety/depression/something. It has been with me for the past 6 months, it has been severe the past 2 months. It affects me most seriously in the early morning hours before going to work. I am usually up out of bed by 4:30 - 5:00 AM, completely wide awake due to nervousness. It is very bad in the early hours of my job, but it usually dissipates by 10:00 AM and I actually feel good the rest of the day, but around bedtime, I get nervous again because I am thinking about going back to work the next day. On a "bad day", it never leaves all day, I do not eat anything, and when I come home I am so exhausted from being nervous all day that I sleep in a recliner, not really sleep, just kind of lay there dazed.

Saturdays are the only "free" day where I feel completely normal. Sundays aren't bad, but around 6PM, when the day is winding down, the process starts again. For those who don't know me I am 28 years old, in a happy marriage, in good health, and in good physical shape. Many days I have a normal routine in the evenings, working out, playing xbox, etc., and feel fine...right up until bedtime. I worry about what this is doing to my health long-term. My wife is concerned for me too. She knows how bad it is for me and tries to be as encouraging as she can. What I don't want is for this to ruin my marriage.

In closing, I believe the "incident" that caused this, was when I lost my job suddenly and without any warning in July 2011. I was working for a company that was going out of business, and during the final months/weeks, I had the exact same symptoms. When I got a new job, I was symptom free for nearly two years and believed it was just because of the uncertainty, but now it is back. I have nightmares regularly about being back at my old job, sometimes I dream about my current job. My close friend has suggested I may have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Can anyone point me in the right direction to getting (mentally) healthy and taking control of my life again, and not letting whatever this is rule me? Thank you guys you are all my friends and most of you are like family, the way we have talked, argued, etc.. over the years

[DynamiteRave]

I deal with mild-moderate depression, I'm not medicated and I think it's because I spent a year in therapy. I thought it was kinda lame at first but about 2-3 months in, I could see it making a major difference in my life. I've been out of therapy for a year now and I wish I could go back (for distance reasons I can't currently).

You might want to look into a mental health professional who deals in cognitive behavioral therapy, as that helps to deal with things such as PTSD and has a very high success rate.

[mooby]

Damn dude. Tbh, I came in here with the intention of cracking a couple jokes and keeping it chill, but your post made me feel bad. I wish I could help you, under my old boss, I generally hated going to work every day, and every day I kept looking for something that would give me the opportunity to get out of there. Then he got fired, I get along great with my new boss, got promoted two weeks ago, and am now generally happy with where I'm at. Long story short, a simple change can make a world of difference.

As far as your situation goes, it sounds work related, it also sounds like since you are stuck in your routine, which isn't helping. I would suggest possibly breaking the routine, talking to your boss about it and seeing if maybe he could let you take a little time off to figure out how to get out of this funk, and thirdly seeing a therapist. PTSD can lead to worse things if ignored, and if you don't have the money/don't want to see a therapist, maybe just try opening up and talking to someone about it, someone you are comfortable with, who you trust and has good intentions, aka not a friend who would just laugh and tell you to have a drink and relax. I know there are people on this site who have a lot more wisdom and experience than I, so I hope myself or someone else here is able to help you figure out the solution to your problem.

[SolidSnake84]

Originally Posted by mooby

Damn dude. Tbh, I came in here with the intention of cracking a couple jokes and keeping it chill, but your post made me feel bad. I wish I could help you, under my old boss, I generally hated going to work every day, and every day I kept looking for something that would give me the opportunity to get out of there. Then he got fired, I get along great with my new boss, got promoted two weeks ago, and am now generally happy with where I'm at. Long story short, a simple change can make a world of difference.

As far as your situation goes, it sounds work related, it also sounds like since you are stuck in your routine, which isn't helping. I would suggest possibly breaking the routine, talking to your boss about it and seeing if maybe he could let you take a little time off to figure out how to get out of this funk, and thirdly seeing a therapist. PTSD can lead to worse things if ignored, and if you don't have the money/don't want to see a therapist, maybe just try opening up and talking to someone about it, someone you are comfortable with, who you trust and has good intentions, aka not a friend who would just laugh and tell you to have a drink and relax. I know there are people on this site who have a lot more wisdom and experience than I, so I hope myself or someone else here is able to help you figure out the solution to your problem.

You are more than welcome to crack jokes about me, I kind of felt lame after I posted it with that title, but I didn't know what else to name it, lol.

Regarding work, it seems strange to say this but I actually like my job, and I like the people there. I have a great Boss and I get along with her wonderfully, we never have any issues. All of the people I work with are nice and the environment is generally very pleasant, that's why I am so confused because it would make sense if it was like my old job.

By contrast, my old job was terrible, I hated the people there, including one man that I worked with, I hated him so much that I threatened physical harm to him, I still have something for him and wouldn't think twice about cracking him if we ever crossed paths again today...

[FRPLG]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

You are more than welcome to crack jokes about me, I kind of felt lame after I posted it with that title, but I didn't know what else to name it, lol.

Regarding work, it seems strange to say this but I actually like my job, and I like the people there. I have a great Boss and I get along with her wonderfully, we never have any issues. All of the people I work with are nice and the environment is generally very pleasant, that's why I am so confused because it would make sense if it was like my old job.

By contrast, my old job was terrible, I hated the people there, including one man that I worked with, I hated him so much that I threatened physical harm to him, I still have something for him and wouldn't think twice about cracking him if we ever crossed paths again today...

dude don't feel lame (like emotions are controllable..haha). Mental illness can dehbilitating. And everyone has it in some way. Hope your dr can get you started on the right track. It will probably by a long haul but it can be done.

[CRedskinsRule]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

You are more than welcome to crack jokes about me, I kind of felt lame after I posted it with that title, but I didn't know what else to name it, lol.

Regarding work, it seems strange to say this but I actually like my job, and I like the people there. I have a great Boss and I get along with her wonderfully, we never have any issues. All of the people I work with are nice and the environment is generally very pleasant, that's why I am so confused because it would make sense if it was like my old job.

By contrast, my old job was terrible, I hated the people there, including one man that I worked with, I hated him so much that I threatened physical harm to him, I still have something for him and wouldn't think twice about cracking him if we ever crossed paths again today...

I hear what you are saying about why it ought not to be work related, but the symptoms would seem like it is. Like was said, it may simply be the routine/rut of work. Maybe if you have flexibility in your daily tasks, try moving your early tasks to later in the day, and change up your morning routine.

overall, don't discount it as lame or silliness - depression and internal sadness can be an insidious weed, so its good you are aware of your feelings and are seeking to deal/cope with them.

[Hog1]

Just do what I did....self medicate with alcohol and drugs....
OH WAIT, that F...d me all up! Don't do that.
Well, you need to start seeing a professional, but take the time to find someone or a group that you feel comfortable and confident about....it matters.
AND exercise will help Anything like this as it gives you strong positive feelings of accomplishment, and will help knock some of the jittery crap off you especially on Sunday nights!
Everybody has their own Demons SS...they just don't talk about it. Good Luck

[Chico23231]

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

Hello friends,

My friendly warpathers were the first people I thought of before attempting to find / branch out to other message boards, groups, etc.. I am seeking some information on what may or may not be wrong with me, before going to the doctor, so I can be as educated as possible.

To make a long story short, I have been dealing with what I feel is crippling anxiety/depression/something. It has been with me for the past 6 months, it has been severe the past 2 months. It affects me most seriously in the early morning hours before going to work. I am usually up out of bed by 4:30 - 5:00 AM, completely wide awake due to nervousness. It is very bad in the early hours of my job, but it usually dissipates by 10:00 AM and I actually feel good the rest of the day, but around bedtime, I get nervous again because I am thinking about going back to work the next day. On a "bad day", it never leaves all day, I do not eat anything, and when I come home I am so exhausted from being nervous all day that I sleep in a recliner, not really sleep, just kind of lay there dazed.

Saturdays are the only "free" day where I feel completely normal. Sundays aren't bad, but around 6PM, when the day is winding down, the process starts again. For those who don't know me I am 28 years old, in a happy marriage, in good health, and in good physical shape. Many days I have a normal routine in the evenings, working out, playing xbox, etc., and feel fine...right up until bedtime. I worry about what this is doing to my health long-term. My wife is concerned for me too. She knows how bad it is for me and tries to be as encouraging as she can. What I don't want is for this to ruin my marriage.

In closing, I believe the "incident" that caused this, was when I lost my job suddenly and without any warning in July 2011. I was working for a company that was going out of business, and during the final months/weeks, I had the exact same symptoms. When I got a new job, I was symptom free for nearly two years and believed it was just because of the uncertainty, but now it is back. I have nightmares regularly about being back at my old job, sometimes I dream about my current job. My close friend has suggested I may have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Can anyone point me in the right direction to getting (mentally) healthy and taking control of my life again, and not letting whatever this is rule me? Thank you guys you are all my friends and most of you are like family, the way we have talked, argued, etc.. over the years

Sorry to hear, but the first step is going to your primary care physician and then ask him/her about a professional counseling/therapy. Ask for suggestions and figure out your preferences. You need to be open to taking medication because when you say you wake up and your baseline anxiety is already so high coming out of sleep, that is concerning. Your probably gonna need a medication that brings down that overall baseline/threshold. I got 2 close friends, ones a therapist and the other a lawyer. Good to have those services close.

[mredskins]

SS84 I totally hear where you are coming from. In HS I use to have a lot of the same issues and I talked to my PCP. A lot of it was just me imagining bad things going to happen and then I would stress about things that had not even occurred or were going to occur.

I still remember this today and it helped me the most. My PCP said our minds say lets of things we don't have to listen to everything it says. He said think of your thoughts as a radio station if something comes on the station and it worries you pick a new station (meaning think of positive stuff). It took a lot of self discipline for me to do this but over time I trained my mind to change the channel. I can remember at times worrying about something then changing the channel and I forgot what I was so worried about.

During high stress times it still comes back to me. This past month I have struggled with it with my move. I would worry about all these crazy scenarios and literally wake up just like you described. I drove my realtor crazy I am sure.

My wife has helped a lot too and she will say listen nothing has happen yet so if it comes we will tackle it then but until then don't worry.

You got learn your triggers as well.

Mine are:
Big Change (moving, new job, etc...)
Watching Sports (I can get nervous watching a big game then it won't go away even after the game is over)
Some video games (FPS after playing them get me too spun up)
Repairs (if something is broken it will worry me about how to fix it)
Lying (I can't lye not even white ones; the guilt afterwards drives me crazy)

The biggest one is major change the others are smaller and I have learned to deal with them so I can still enjoy the activity (FPS, Sporting Events, etc.. not lying).

SS84 I hope that is a help in some way. I think your best bet is seeing your PCP then going from there.

[MTK]

Seek out some counseling asap. No shame in asking for some help. Might just be some minor issues you need to identify and work through.

[Dirtbag59]

Sounds like you hate your job. Personally while I don't hate my job, I don't exactly love it either. And personally I know all to well that late Sunday Night feeling that you described all to well. Lately I find myself happiest on Friday nights/very early Saturday. Saturday I'm also pretty cheery. Then I wake up pretty late on Sunday realizing that I have to go to bed soon at my normal time to be at work on Monday and I start to get nervous.

It also possible if you're a night person like me that waking up at 4:30 AM to 5:00 AM to get ready for work isn't doing you any favors. The fact that you start to feel good 5 to 5.5 hours after you wake up suggest this.

Semi left field question Snake. Does your wife ever complain that you snore at night? If so you might have lingering effects from sleep apnea that warrants a sleep study. Ironically enough one of the side effects of sleep apnea is depression.

[SolidSnake84]

Dirtbag59, actually when I do sleep, I sleep like a corpse....I've never had a snoring problem.....when I get to sleep on friday night or Saturday, I wake up feeling great....

[RedskinRat]

SS84, what amount of physical activity are you doing?

[MTK]

Exercise can definitely help with mood, stress, and anxiety. Nothing clears my mind better than a good run.

[RedskinRat]

Originally Posted by Mattyk

Exercise can definitely help with mood, stress, and anxiety. Nothing clears my mind better than a good run.

Yeah, that's where I was headed. It's surprising to a lot of people how self destructive a sedentary lifestyle and poor diet can be.