your favorite joke

BleedBurgundy · 11-20-2007, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostinthought135

White Question and Answers
What's white and fourteen inches long?
Absolutely nothing!

What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
Snow.

What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle?
A Dope Ring!

What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.

Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It's hard to find them in the snow.

How long does it take for a white women to take a crap?
9 months

What's the difference between a white man and a snake?
One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.

How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, white men will screw anything.

What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass!

What did the black guy do with his M&Ms?
Eat them

What did the white guy try and do with his?
Put them in alphabetical order

What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree?
A straight line!

What do you call a white serial killer in the courtroom?
-Not guilty

What did the policeman say to the white reckless driver who ran over and killed 10 innocent people?
-Slow it down

Educational. Don't want to hijack this but I think we've all heard racist jokes from time to time. I'm a white guy, if it matters, and to me, this was interesting to see. Sad as it may be, I never heard any "white jokes." And some of these were kind of funny, others were straight vitriol.

BleedBurgundy · 11-20-2007, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DynamiteRave

My other favorite joke is of course... a blonde joke.

A blonde, brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They decide it's best for them to split up and hide on a nearby farm. The brunette hides in the pigpen, the redhead in the cow barn and the blonde decides to hide on the potato patch. Soon the cops arrive and start searching the farm. They first stop by the pigpen.

"Anybody in here?", the cops yell out, shining their flash light into the pigpen
"Oink, Oink Oink", says the brunette.
The cops don't suspect anything suspicious right away and decide to move on

Their next stop is the cow barn.
"Anybody in here?", the cops yell out, shining their flash light into the cow barn
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", says the redhead.
The cops don't suspect anything suspicious right away and decide to move on.

Their next stop is the potato patch
"Anybody out here?", the cops yell out, shining their flash light into the potato patch.
It's quiet at first.
Then all of a sudden the blonde goes, "POOOTAAAAATTOOOOOO"

LOL. I don't know why but I picture this joke on family guy.

Sammy Baugh Fan · 11-20-2007, 09:29 AM

Horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says "Hey, why the long face?"

Baby Seal walks into a bar and the bartender ask what he'll have. "Anything but a Canadian Club." he said.

A guys walks into a bar, then had a bump on his head.

BDBohnzie · 11-20-2007, 10:50 AM

A pirate walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer so the bartender gives him a beer and notices a steering wheel on the pirate's nuts so he asks the pirate "why is there a steering wheel on your privates" and the pirate say "arhhgghh its drivin' me nuts."

Stacks42 · 11-20-2007, 11:20 AM

What did one gay guy say to the other gay guy at the gay bar?

Can I push in your stool?

saden1 · 11-20-2007, 01:26 PM

It's Saturday night and Superman is especially ready to party after a hard week of saving the world. So he throws on his cape and heads off to a party. Along the way, he passes Wonder Woman's penthouse suite. To his surprise, he sees through her open window that she is still at home, naked in her bed, lying on her back. Superman thinks to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I can fly in there, have sex with her and be gone before she knows it." So in an instant, Superman flies in, does the deed, and flies back out. At this point, Wonder Woman sits up and says, "Did you hear something?" "No," replies the Invisible Man, "but my butt is killing me.

DynamiteRave · 11-20-2007, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostinthought135

White Question and Answers
What's white and fourteen inches long?
Absolutely nothing!

What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
Snow.

What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle?
A Dope Ring!

What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
The PGA tour.

Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
It's hard to find them in the snow.

How long does it take for a white women to take a crap?
9 months

What's the difference between a white man and a snake?
One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.

How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, white men will screw anything.

What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass!

What did the black guy do with his M&Ms?
Eat them

What did the white guy try and do with his?
Put them in alphabetical order

What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree?
A straight line!

What do you call a white serial killer in the courtroom?
-Not guilty

What did the policeman say to the white reckless driver who ran over and killed 10 innocent people?
-Slow it down

I'm Black. Grew up around a lot of White people. I've heard a lot of racist jokes. Both on Blacks and Hispanics. Neither bother me because I know the people that are telling them never mean any harm and they always ask me prior to telling them if I'm comfortable with it. I've never heard ones on White people before so it's a change of pace. Either way, racially motivated jokes aren't the type to say around mixed company. Good jokes, buddy. Wrong place and time.

saden1 · 11-21-2007, 02:58 PM

Funny moments for Doctors | Bubblejive.com

Beemnseven · 11-21-2007, 07:39 PM

A guy is on his morning commute and his cellphone rings. Fumbling for the phone, he loses track of what's happening on the road and slams into the car in front of him.

Just as he realizes what kind of trouble he's in because he knows it's completely his fault, he can't help but chuckle as the driver of the car he hit jumps out and it's a dwarf.

The dwarf runs up to his car and tells him, "I am NOT happy."

The driver can't help himself and replies, "Well, which one of them are you?"

*****

Hope I didn't offend the midgets, ... oops, ... I mean little people with that one.

Sammy Baugh Fan · 11-21-2007, 08:31 PM

A Pirate Skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."

11-20-2007, 09:29 AM	#18
Sammy Baugh Fan Playmaker Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Northern Virginia, Woodbridge Age: 62 Posts: 2,507	Re: your favorite joke Horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says "Hey, why the long face?" Baby Seal walks into a bar and the bartender ask what he'll have. "Anything but a Canadian Club." he said. A guys walks into a bar, then had a bump on his head. __________________ Check out Mike Hedrick - The Next Food Network Star. Please Click and give me a Thumbs Up and Positive Comment. Thanks

11-20-2007, 10:50 AM	#19
BDBohnzie Playmaker Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Frederick, MD Age: 45 Posts: 4,628	Re: your favorite joke A pirate walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer so the bartender gives him a beer and notices a steering wheel on the pirate's nuts so he asks the pirate "why is there a steering wheel on your privates" and the pirate say "arhhgghh its drivin' me nuts." __________________ Bad Things man, I mean bad things... “WE TOOK HIM IN THE SIXTH ROUND SO WE'RE NOT SMART EITHER.” - Shanny on what the Skins saw in Alfred Morris

11-20-2007, 11:20 AM	#20
Stacks42 Impact Rookie Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Arlington Va. Age: 48 Posts: 835	Re: your favorite joke What did one gay guy say to the other gay guy at the gay bar? Can I push in your stool? __________________ The NEXT special teams coordinator

11-20-2007, 01:26 PM	#21
saden1 MVP Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Seattle Age: 45 Posts: 10,069	Re: your favorite joke It's Saturday night and Superman is especially ready to party after a hard week of saving the world. So he throws on his cape and heads off to a party. Along the way, he passes Wonder Woman's penthouse suite. To his surprise, he sees through her open window that she is still at home, naked in her bed, lying on her back. Superman thinks to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I can fly in there, have sex with her and be gone before she knows it." So in an instant, Superman flies in, does the deed, and flies back out. At this point, Wonder Woman sits up and says, "Did you hear something?" "No," replies the Invisible Man, "but my butt is killing me. __________________ "The Redskins have always suffered from chronic organizational deformities under Snyder." -Jenkins

11-21-2007, 02:58 PM	#23
saden1 MVP Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Seattle Age: 45 Posts: 10,069	Re: your favorite joke Funny moments for Doctors \| Bubblejive.com __________________ "The Redskins have always suffered from chronic organizational deformities under Snyder." -Jenkins

11-21-2007, 07:39 PM	#24
Beemnseven Pro Bowl Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Virginia Beach Age: 50 Posts: 5,311	Re: your favorite joke A guy is on his morning commute and his cellphone rings. Fumbling for the phone, he loses track of what's happening on the road and slams into the car in front of him. Just as he realizes what kind of trouble he's in because he knows it's completely his fault, he can't help but chuckle as the driver of the car he hit jumps out and it's a dwarf. The dwarf runs up to his car and tells him, "I am NOT happy." The driver can't help himself and replies, "Well, which one of them are you?" ***** Hope I didn't offend the midgets, ... oops, ... I mean little people with that one.

11-21-2007, 08:31 PM	#25
Sammy Baugh Fan Playmaker Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Northern Virginia, Woodbridge Age: 62 Posts: 2,507	Re: your favorite joke A Pirate Skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop." __________________ Check out Mike Hedrick - The Next Food Network Star. Please Click and give me a Thumbs Up and Positive Comment. Thanks

your favorite joke

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